Altruistic Love... Food for Thought

For anyone reading this that does not know me (which may be a few of you) I have a son named Cason. He is two years old and he is my life. So with that known, here is a little excerpt about me and my thoughts lately.

I have found that Cason is a gift from God directly to me, and others, I believe. Without him there are many things in life I would not have seen or experienced. I remember when I used to put work ahead of everything else... Now I have noticed that everything in life that I do, I do it out of love, caring, and support for Cason. Even if it means being a few minutes late to work, I just can't seem to stop playing or loving on him.

I believe there are two types of providers when it comes to males (and some females). Neither one is better than the other because both are justified in their thinking.

1. Work hard, make good money, build a fund, support your child, and be able to provide many things (toys, books, education, etc) for your children or child.

2. Work hard to be with your children or child, make enough money to be happy but nothing excessive, show them that life is about love, family, living, exploring, creative thought, abstract thought, passion, etc.

I am definitely number two.

I find that Cason enjoys so many things in life that are simple. How many trips to the park have I taken in his lifetime? I don't have the slightest clue. I can say that no toy or amount of money can give him what I have given him through physical contact, time spent with him, and the joys of seeing his face when I chase after him on a slide or the park. I cannot begin to express the joy and happiness in his face and actions. And some might think, terrible two's... not really. The extent of his fussing or aggravation is when we are in the car and he wants to be home so he can play with the dog or get down and ride on every single tractor we see on the roadway (I love in the south.. go figure). Other than that, when he gets super duper tired. Everyday when I see him or wake up in the morning beside him, he tells me that he wants to go outside and ride the tractor (lawn mower to you and me). But he is just now making sentences so it is extremely cute... and hard to tell him no sometimes. So I try to get him doing something else which turns back to, "want rye track-tor." (Which is how it sounds) It's so cute also because he gets about 3 inches from my face, nose to nose, and nods his head and raises his eyebrows as he says it.

Which I know it's cute to me because he is my child but I ask you this...

How is it that I can have an altruistic love towards someone that can't help pay the bills, can't wash a dish (not really), can't clean up, can't pee in the potty yet, doesn't provide any income, and dependant on me to feed, clothe, bathe, read to him, comfort him, to have strength to discipline him, to have the strength to not cry when he is in pain, to not show fear when things are tough, and to be there and be with him when I've had 3 or 4 hours sleep after work but yet I find the strength to keep going... I see and realize those things.... and I think of how God loves us all that much.

It also scares me to be honest. Now that I see what true, absolute, unconditional love is... Am I capable of showing a woman that same love? It scares me to think that I might not find that person that I can be that way with. I know people often say that they are truly happy with someone but are you? Does nothing they do get on your nerves at all? How many of us can say we love unconditionally no matter what the situation? On the other end to that... isn't it the little things that make us happy or even the little things that bother us about our partner that makes you love them even more?

Just food for thought...

I welcome your thoughts, comments, and psychological insights =)

Where have all the good women gone?

In the past, I have heard women say, "Where have all the good men gone?" By that, I assume they mean the ones that treat you well, open doors, speak to others in a courteous manner, and are honest. Yes, I know that humor, good looks, ability to care, and so on are in the list of things too... So here is my question now...

Where have all the good women gone? Can I be direct? You know I will be.

First of all I will say that I have seen many many beautiful women in my life. Some in the past and some very recently. Beauty, although, is not everything or even enough. That might sound slightly conceited but I'll explain as you know I will. The mental attitude (personality at least) or the mental outlook that someone has can either make it or break it. Someones goals that they have (or lack there of) can be a big influence on this as well. For example, there was a girl in high school that I wanted to date so badly... but when I finally went out with her, her attitude and personality completely made her unattractive.. and I thought she was VERY attractive to begin with.

Where have the women gone that respect family values? What about the ones that show an interest in other's ideas, thoughts, and feelings? Is it all about what they want to do or what can be done for them? It seems that many people I come in contact with only want what is good for them, not what's good as a couple. I think the respect that women (and men) have held so dearly to their heart has left them and been replaced with greed and self indulgence. Where's the love?

Now, on the other hand, just because I say the things I say does not mean that there aren't women out there that are still wonderful. I'm going to use a cousin that I always admired very well here. She was always very beautiful, kind, caring, very sincere, and above all, honest and respectable. Even now I believe her to be one of the most beautiful and caring people on the outside and inside (No, I'm not telling who).

I'm speaking of this for several reasons... Yes, I do have my eyes open to date someone. I'm not looking for a fling or some short term thing. I'm looking for a best friend and partner for life. The other thing is this... While I am looking for someone to date, I am also being picky in a sense of someone that will be a role model to my son. Do I really want Cason learning the ways of someone that is not sincere or not caring? I've lived my life, I need to teach Cason to live his. And only the best love and understanding will be suitable for my son.. no half-assing here. Give it your best and your all!

So, for those of you that get angry when you read this, I'm sorry, maybe it hits down deep with you. Usually the people that are genuine will know that they are and will see my side of this. Of course, I am open to ALL comments and interpretations. You know I love the feedback...

So... where are you? Where is the woman that doesn't mind a man opening the door for her? Where is the one that remembers what family values are? Where is the one that will choose a day in the park over a day at the spa? Where is she I ask? Where is the one that recognizes love, caring, and commitment? Where is the one that sees that all they can ask for is someone that works hard for what they have, no matter how little or great that it may be?

So I ask the people... look at yourself deeply and think about the type of person that you are.